knowing that she will never be mind again,
my heart sank..
ppl says that time will heal,
but time can't control how u feel.
yes,this song used to b a love theme,
but listening to it alone isn't happy as it seems.
bear in mind,the harder u try forgeting,
the more u will be missing...
so let the 'love' n 'miss' go on,
someday some how...
it'll unconciously be gone,
probably it's gona take quite long,
but 1 day....
the love theme would just be a normal song.
In the middle of the night I heard myself shout,
It was my heart coz my mouth was shut.
My heart bled when u told me
'i am sorry"
just that I was not waryI had to agree to end this feeling,
But my heart protested by all its does is bleeding.
I need your love to keep me breathing,
Without your love I dun feel like living
I want to know why,
u wanted to leave so abruptly,
Decided to follow up behind ur steps secretly..
There,i saw you giving your heart away
And crushed my heart along the way.
As time passes,
the heart is healed..
But scars remain hard to conceal.

siighx... wasn't really happy today... everything seem dull to me... thr's no colour in my life now... everything seem to be black and white... ii was f*** up and Dissapointed... was ii in the wrong ? did ii start it ? hey come on euu are the one who kept slient thru out... wads wrong if i kept slient too?? euu du lan den me lehz... wad the hack... wads the prob now... mayb ii m in the wrong !! ii m sorry... forget it... no point toking abt dis... ii wasn't waiting for bell to ring today... not in the mood to do anything ...hope time can stop here... went to heartland alone after sch ... stroll for awhile den went home le... siighx... i felt like a bloody loner... mayb its better dis way...

siighx... wads my motivation for sch? haiix... nth... Juz bcos ii have no choice.. now all ii have by myside is textbk notebook ten yr series... nth else... siighx... wasn't really happi today... tired ...fall asleep during english lesson...after tt was bio... had partical lesson it was boring cos i was sitting alone playing with cucumber and ground nuts... siighx... didn't really had any food during recess was hungry but no appetite so didn't eat any nth... wasn't in the mood for anything today... went for lunch after sch wid kevin had some vegetarian food... didn't tok much thru out... went back home ... bath le went to meet some classmate to do our CME project... siighx... wasn't in the mood for anyhting so the thing didn't turn out well in the end ... my drawing sux... went to play badminton for awhile... den was on my way home kevin called so i meet him for dinner... was still okay ...but in the end didn't even utter a single word... kept slient thru out... siighx... dis tot cross my mind and made me think abt whether i shld give up on the post as a asst team manager ... ii m really tired of ppl showing me attitude face... wad had i done wrong? ii m really on the verge to give up ... siighx... tinking hard and deep...

siighx...

Lets make it last ,

bring us back to the past,

where we talked all the time,

laughed abt everything...

but too much has happened,

and i guess that's juz the way it is...

that something were meant to be...

let dis be the memory,

we shared together,

and nv gonna be replaced..

(-_-')HAiX(^_^)

siighx... woke up by a bad dreamx... damn... its onli 7 am... so slp back... woke up at 9 or 10 bahx.. watch hamtaro lolx... haha... intend to study de but den gt too many disstraction le... can not concentrate sighx... didn't manage to study alot... onli one chap i tink... arghx... bio is driving me crazy... siighx... can somebody help me... siighx... wanted to go for lunch ... damn hungry... but in the end nv go cos i don't like to go alone lolx... so ate some bread.. arghx.. went back to study ... fall asleep half way... damn ii juz can't study at home... wanted to down to study but didn't... cos go alone like very dotz... nvm... stay at home study ... watch tv play com listen to music... juz can't sit still to study ...arghx... finally the tv show is ended ii started to do my revision... studied until 5 plus kevin called ... ask me to go eat dinner... so meet him at 6 .30 ... had fries , chicken wing and fried rice... arghx...so full... on the way to place we usually study dennis called so we walk back to the coffee shop... ask dennis abt some bio qn tt i couldn't solve... didn't go study in the end... cos is very late le abt 8 ... ii went back home to study... arghx.. damn ii can't concentrate... with the tv on computer on everything on... damn... didn't study much... so stress.. and tired... eng perlim dis friday...how?? will i pass... siighx... haix... we no longer go study together so often le... didn't really talk abt " xin shi" le... sighx... felt being drift apart... siighx.. miss those days... nvm... wad to do dis is life... faced it dis is reality... thr's is no forever friends... take care... study hard my friend ...perlim is 5 days away from us...

aaarghx... damn tired today... woke up at 6 plus ... went to have breakfast arghx... finally can have breakfast after so long... miss those days... today went to sch to meet the rest for competition...took a charted bus there... reach thr too early le... our event start at 12 ... went to white sand to but food for them.... reach thr had a quick lunch ... arghx... damn onli den we found out tt our event is cancel... damn waste our time... so we were ask to be service scout we didn't wan so we went to change half-U.. haha took a long long time cos we are walk here and thr looking for the pool table... lolx... after tt went back den decided to go down town play... wah so exp i hr 9 dollar... bo bian ...nth to do mahx... so play lohz... went back to find them... arghx...getting hotter and hotter... sitted down at the stairs waiting for them to finish thr event... the whole event ended at abt 6 ... took the bus back drop at hg plaza... went to eat han's wid kevin... black pepper chicken chop... nice lolx... haha...so full now... felt so sleepy... hey sorri.. i didn't mean to shout at euu ... arghx.. haiix... very hot tempered nowadays... i m so sorri... hope euu wouldn't take it to hard... take care... so sleepy... got to study bio now... choing for perlim... yeah!! happii like bird... LOLX

haiix... today morning sux manx... siighx... everytime when abt to finish den get caught... damn... lesson was boring studied bio the whole day... finally understand how liver works... siighx... did some scouts stuff during lesson but wad i did is useless... siighx... quarrel wif my npc memeber today haix... i felt so upset ii was indeed a lousy leader... haix... how can a lousy leader led a team to a competition?? do i fit the position as a leader? haiix... felt so sad maybe u r right ii m not a gd leader... today didn't turn out well ... have euu ever put urself in my shoe to tink for me... when everybody go against euu shoot euu until euu gt nothing to say? siighx... wad m i going to do? i felt so stress ... my head is exploding ... ii nid some advise ... siighx... stress up....

siighx... today had alot of free period... lolX.... was studying bio damn... i had a really hard time manx... so used up alot of time to figure out wad the topic is talking abt... arghx... one more week do i have the time to finish? siighx.. ii will try... concentrate... haha... had chem practical haha... it was so damn fun... lolx... haha... finially i got the titration reading correct ...lolx... QA was er... ok la... played with the chemical mix all the result obtain together... haha... get alot of colourless gas produce... er... and it relight a glowing splint... lolx...wads tt??!! oh its oxygen!! haha... hydrogen peroxide is the test for oxygen .... remember ppl... lolx... went home alone after tt... siighx... reach home did nothing but slp... woke up at 5 plus... keviin pei mii go eat dinner... den came back home to study ...arghx... studied onli one chap for bio... damn still gt abt 10 more chp to go...chiong arhx... !!!

To my BEst Friend (keviin , steph n raJ): study hard worx... all the best to euu all... euu all seem to be very stress dis few days ... worried abt result ritex... dun worry so much ... cheer up manx... euu all can do it de... i have faith in euu all ... hahax... do take care... smile always =)

To ppl who is taking o'Lvl : study hard worx... prelim is coming ... all the best and gd luck yeah!!

siighx... jux can't get into the mood to study... siighx... prelim is coming but i haven study yet... haix... thing dun look good for mii... making notes for bio now but dun noe how to cos ii have no idea was the hack m i suppose to learn ... i have no idea wif topic like enzymes blah blah balh... siighx... how? wad shld i do? siighx... no the verge to give up!!! siighx... dun wish to retain... siighx... ii felt so lost now... really wear out.. siighx...

juZ REach homE... aarghx.. today was lucky to squeeze so didn't take cab to sch... damn... ii m so strees up wid my studies... i got no time !! i onli studied PhySics and it is a combine one!!! wad to do? prelim is nxt week... i dun noe wad to study!!! Sighx... strees UP... got the class foto ...oh my god!! i look so toot in the foto ... siighx... had bio lesson for 4 period !! damn learn new topic but i m not sure wad she is teaching ... guess all i can do ish... study and learn myself... siighx... went to heartland wif kevin , steph n alneshysia... opps i dun noe how to slp her name nvm... sorry... went to popular to buy bio guide book but in the end didn't cos i oso dun noe why LOLX... damn... went to take neoprint haha... so long since i last take... haha... went the thai restruant ... but ran out after awhile cos the food is so damn exp...lolx... so paisehx... haha... in the end end up eating at KFC.. haha... no more buddy meal... Sianx... haha... ii m so full today ii tink i ate to much...dIAO!!... haix... i must go on diet le... haha... i wan to slim down...one of my gaol after o'lvl... yeahx... haha...

today took a cab to sch ...cos the bus is late... damn... took a cab wif shermaine ,jamie n kevin...
today was a lucky didn't get caught ...haha... damn tml still have hair check... pray for me ppl... lolx... first period tio kan for not bring my worksheet damn... haha... so wasted alot of time scolding didn't have the time to do practical... went to for ss after tt... lesson past very fast.. cos did onli two source base question during the two period lolx... haha... went for p.e. damn sianz nth to play ... arghx... after tt is recess time...yeah... so hungry!! haha... after tt went for eng lesson ... damn it eng lesson was boring ... oh my god... i gt no mood for eng anymore... sianz... D7 was it the best ii can get? haha... i must get atleast a c5 yeah!! tt my goal!! arghx.. i shall stop all the grandmother story lolx... went back home wid kevin... damn the weather is so damn hot... arghx... stupid raches... damn euu!!! went to study at evening... haven eat my dinner yet... so hungry!!! hey... smile more!! yeah!! ii m back to normal... haha... take care... ppl.. ii m not wad euu tink ii m!!! hahax...

haiix...euu told me that ii diidn't say anything to " an weii nii" haix... ii m sorri ... ii tot euua re alriite euu tiink through i tot euu are fiine .. so ii diidn't say a word... sighx... ii m sorri...when i ask euu wad happened are euu okay? euu told me tt ii tiink too much? diid ii? ii m tiired of askiing euu are euu okay? ii try to fiind out wad happened so ii can see wad ii can do but sighx... euu told mii nothiing ... wad more can ii say... when ii try to ask euu tt wad euu told me... lots of tiime... siighx... mayb euu are riite ii dun understand euu at all... sorrii my friiend... ii m juz a faiilure.. ii dun noe wad ii shld do and wad ii shld not do ... wadeva ii do iis wrong... sighx... thr is still lots of ppl hu understand euu hu euu can tok to ... ur best friind , ur bro , dnx.. even iif ii diidn't ask they would... siighx... ii have completelly giiven up hope iin liife... my heart iis bleediing ... it wouldn't stop... siighx...

LOST FAITH IN LIFE!!!
LOST FAITH IN FRIEND!!
LOST FAITH IN LOVE!!
LOST FAITH IN THE WORD FOREVER!!!
LOST FAITH IN EVERYTHING!!

haiix... readiing those post tt ii have blog iin the past ... felt sad... haiix... ii can see lots of changes iin my liife... siighx... fren who ii was close wiid now they are no longer thr... all dis memoriies has become the past... haiix... wad iis the problem? why my relationship wiif my friiens nv last? siighx.. really feel liike giviing up... sometiime thiings really brighten up my days... tt has made me forget abt giiving up... but everytiime thiing turn out not to be so... ii felt all alone ... why? maybe quarreling is part of liife... but ii dun wiish diis to be part of my daiily liife... siighx... my days are not long ... ii dun noe how long can ii take iit... siighx... dun really noe wad to blog ... telling my story for the day? siighx... ii dun wiish to.. cos thr wasn't a happi ending for the day all the time... siighx... ii was left behind alone by ppl... haiix.. iif ii cann't see iin the dark room ii would not move ii wiill not try to get out... cos ii had giiven up hope... ii wiill juz sit thr waiitiing for somebody to help me out... sighx... words can hurt ppl... siighx... ' ii dun care" ,"as iif ii care" 'ii dun give a damn"siighx... why ppl say diis? does iit mean tt they dun care? or wad? siighx... failure iin all aspect of liife... do euu noe how much ii care? wad hav ii done? euu are dissapoiinted iin me cos euu tiink ii dun care ... euu thiing ii have given up hope on euu... ii dun support euu anymore? sigghx... iis thiis wad euu tiink? haiix... wad more can ii say? ii m not onlii a failure iin maiintaiiniing a friiendship ...but iin relatiionshiip too... the person ii liike always dun liike me... siighx... ii m jzu a person tt everybody dun liike... siighx... HOW II WIISH II WAS DEAD !!! !! !!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!! !!!!!!!!!!! !!! !!!!!!!!! I'M A FAILURE !!!

siighx...

ii have really lose faiith iin liife!!

ii m all alonne now..

friiends are beiing driift apart..

do tiink all by myself..

ii dun noe how long ii can hold on...

ii m siick n tiired of all diis thiings tt ii m goiing through now!!

siighx...

ii onlii brought euu unhappiiness..

ii have nv done anythiing riight iin liife..

ii can not longer thiink of anythiing to say to euu...

mayb diis iis goiing to come to an end soon ...

euu seem to be gettiing iiriitated by mii..

ii shld juz leave euu alone...

no words can express my agony...

ii m such a loser...

ii faiiled iin all aspect of liife...

ii had no courage to carry on...

tryiing very hard not to giive up..

but how long can ii take iit?

ii m at the poiint of giiviing up!!

no ppl understand how ii feel...

ii m sad..

ii m under goiing depressiion...

ppl may not understand mii but wad disappoint mii most iis euu

even euu dun!!

siighx...

ii m really a faiilure ...

ii brought diis upon myself...

liife iis reallii meaniingless!!

siighx...

ii m juz a loser iin liife...

how ii wiish ii was DEAD!!

ii m sorii!!

REcently was busy wid our class national day fun fair... so nv come blog... sighx... dun wish to blog le ... maybe closing dis blog soon... haha... see how bahx... the fun fair was ok lohz... we earn 526 dollar ...haha... cool ritez... lolx... last yr lex... i m the horror hus clown yeahx... i m not scary at all damn... haha... was tired ... yucks the face paint sux... is not face paint is finger paint... tt y my make up will crack... yeahx... make me look so yucks... haha... nvm... did enjoy... haix... not really very happy dis few weeks... over stuffs... sighx... soon... a few more months we will go our seperate ways... we may still meet up maybe not... nobodies noes... sighx... 3 yr plus plus in sch was damn happening ... haha... hate the sch but thr are still bits of memories tt will stay... sighx... nothing much to say blog nxt time ... tata...

_HOW II WIISH II WAS DEAD*_